- Bychuck it
- February 9, 2016
- 0 comments
Chuck It, in Space!
Space Junk and Orbital Waste Management
If you think our landfills here on Earth are overflowing, you should see what kind of junk is floating around in space. It’s a total dump out there! Those guys at NASA have left a real mess of over 500,000 pieces of space garbage orbiting the Earth at speeds up to 17,500 miles per hour (and they only keep track of the ones larger than softballs). Does it really matter, NASA? If something the size of a peanut is flying towards you at 17,500 miles per hour it is probably going to do some damage. Yikes! If you think your commute is dangerous in the morning, imagine having to dodge speeding pieces of old rockets and satellites.
Chuck It Junk Removal to the Rescue!
Who is going to volunteer to clean up that mess? Your average garbage hauler? Nope. They barely make enough money to pick up your old, stained, bed bug-infested mattress from the side of the road. They definitely aren’t screaming “sign me up” to go dodge hurtling hunks of garbage in space. No worries. Chuck It Junk Removal can handle this job and any job, any size, anywhere. Chuck It Junk Removal is not afraid to tackle it, no matter if it is dodgy, dangerous, or just plain disgusting.
Prompt and Professional
Space aliens, be not afraid. Chuck It Junk Removal will be there in a professional uniform so you know exactly who they are and what they are there for. They come not to harm you but to make your home better! You also will not have to worry about having to sit around that meteor all day waiting for them to show up. They will get there on time and get the job done quickly so you can make that matinee of E.T. with the family.
Fair Pricing, Quoted In Advance
How much is all of this space junk going to cost to get rid of? We know the government sure as heck is not going to pay for it-they’re broke! Maybe we could get Elon Musk to foot the bill since he is planning on adding another 4000 satellites up there anyway that are sure to make a whole lot more garbage. Never fear. Chuck It Junk Removal is going to give someone upfront pricing that will be fair, affordable, and realistic. You won’t be surprised when you get the bill on this one. We don’t care how much junk we find up there. If we quote it, we stand by it!
Responsible Waste Management For the Planet
We all know one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. Well, why not then one astronaut’s junk is another alien’s treasure? Chuck It Junk Removal won’t just take all of that space junk and toss it in a landfill on Mars, although NASA did just find that giant rat on Mars-he might like it. We will make sure we reuse and recycle whatever we can. We can donate those old moon boots we find to a local Goodwill. Something up there is sure to need a good pair of boots. We will also do our best to recycle whatever we can. Why not use those old rocket boosters for something else? Maybe a new ride at Disney World? Rest easy knowing that whatever junk we find out of this world we will put to use in someone else’s world if at all possible.
Beam Me Up, Scotty!
Seriously folks, none of us here on Earth want any flaming space junk flying into our backyards during our next barbecue. Talk about a party foul. Likewise, the astronauts camping out in the International Space Station are probably not too excited about having huge hunks of garbage whizzing past their heads each time they go out for a smoke break. Chuck It Junk Removal can make sure this doesn’t happen to any of us. There is nothing up there that they can’t handle with one of their dependable black trucks and uniformed professional crews. They have been cleaning up our junk here on Earth for years one home at a time. Why not let them go one light year at a time cleaning up the mess floating around above us?